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*He Doesn't Know*

For countless years, and running generations we, as women, have tried to make that of the opposite sex, men, understand us and how we think. We have tried to explain to them many times before WHAT we are and WHO we are. So many times we have tried and failed in expressing who we are as women, as Queens. Yet, the words go in one ear and out the other, and the information is not retained. Maybe it is because men will never truly understand us. Maybe it is because they don’t care about WHO we are and WHAT we are. Many of us may never know in our lifetime. The process to teach such a species is long and complicated.

We do not ask that men think like us. We only ask them to LISTEN, LEARN, APPRECIATE, AND LOVE us as much as we love them. We care for them like they are a child, in extra ways that only their mother should have to do. We endure their bullshit on a constant basis, continuing to love them even though we know what they did was selfish and disrespectful. We go through the male and female relationship knowing, understanding, and accepting that in this World, men do what they want, how they want, and when they want. Our opinion comes secondary.

Men can get away with more terrible and unspeakable things that women could not. And this is the unfair and unjust truth that we deal with everyday.

We yearn for clear explanations as to why men do what they do. Don’t they understand that? We loathe them for being utterly reckless and insensitive, when we need them to be understanding and sensible. We want to be able to understand them and their foolish ways so that we can love them better. Or love them easier. But I suppose that is too much to ask. Racking our brains with questions and concerns is exhausting. And most of the time, we don’t get very far in our conclusions.

I mean, who do we think we are to ask for something as simple, yet, as complicated as understanding the male mind? Can men even be understood? Maybe it really is too much to ask…

It seems that only a Psychiatrist knows these secrets. Since their job is to understand the mind entirely and how it works. Feelings, emotions, and such. But we wish to know these secrets ourselves. Maybe it could help us women in the long run. Maybe relationships would be better if we did. Maybe men and women could work together in their relationship as a team, and not as rivals. But until we unlock these secrets and use them to our advantage, we are cursed to be anxious and confused.

Oh men….With your strong voice and bold actions. How can we resist you? Your aggressive nature turns us on in a way we can’t control; even if we don’t want it, we still like to have some. It’s the “Bad Boy” that we crave, but cannot keep in the long run. Of course, it sure is nice to have had one though.

We find adventure in you because we know you are more daring and risky than we are. To have the mindset of knowing you could die at any time because of your duty as a man is something we as women will never have to deal with. It is known that women live longer than men. This is understood. So, because we feel we could lose you at any time, we tend to love you harder with conviction. We love you harder than you do us. We love you harder early on in the relationship. How silly we look when we show our true emotions to you, when most of the time, you seem to not care. But we can’t help it. We don’t mean to go overboard and be sensitive, but it’s in our nature. Some of us are stronger than others at holding it in. But why hold it all in just for your comfort? It’s not worth it. It’s too hard. And it makes us bitter.

You make us do things that we would never do before or with anyone else. You force us to be more stern because we have to speak with power in our voice to a man for him to listen. You help us to be more outgoing by always being the risk taker, even if it's not always safe. You bring balance to our life with your different ways of thinking. The way you can just let go of a grudge so easily is something we admire. And brushing off your problems faster is a man's gift from God. You are our hero in so many ways, and sometimes, our teacher. You are our brothers, fathers, uncles, nephews, grandparents, and sons. You are powerful souls and we know it.

So what do we do? Continue to love men for who they are? The brash, selfish, uncaring, stubborn, and lazy souls? Should we make them respect us as women by telling them when they are wrong and giving them an ultimatum to fix it? I mean, this doesn’t even work all the time. We wish it did, because it makes sense to do this. But it doesn’t work like we want it to. So many times we try it, especially strong independent women, the men end up just running away and finding someone “nicer” to be with. Life isn’t like the movies and tv shows where the woman can change a man's heart, just by loving him. No no no, it takes more than that. So now it seems, we are stuck for life…

Maybe the problem is that we are dealing with young boys, instead of grown men. It is true that male’s take longer to mature than women do. This drives us crazy. We want to find men at a young age, not an old age. But instead we have to wait for them to mature at an older age. Usually, 30 and after. It’s like we have to baby them until they grow up. And that’s not fair at all.

Sometimes I find myself wondering about what I should do and what’s the best option for ME, as a woman. What should I do to take care of ME? Since I know that he won’t.

We must come to terms with understanding and accepting the type of man we are with. We must accept that if we can not get through to him, it’s best to just...leave him be. And find someone who cares for us, as much as we care for them.

Because, honestly...he doesn’t know your heart and how hard it beats for him. He doesn’t know the type of woman you are, to be able to love you like you should be loved. He will never understand how to take care of you as a queen. He can’t possibly be able to listen to your worries and concerns if he is not willing to understand them. If he is not willing to provide for you in a positive way, and not just material things; he can never truly love you. He will never see the forest through the trees if he feels he is not wrong. He will not think that he is lazy if he feels that he does enough.

Teamwork is not an option for him if he is always looking elsewhere. He doesn’t know that if he treated you better, you would treat him like a King. He doesn’t understand the mind of a woman and how it is filled with more stress than he could ever know. He will never know what it’s like to be consumed by your own thoughts of “what if’s?, Why’s?, and How’s?” He thinks it is easy for him to find something new and better, so he will never understand the level of commitment that you know naturally. It will always be hard for him. He thinks with his desires first, and you second. So how could he be able to think clearly when temptation is his best friend?

If you have been hurt by many, and accepted by few, he will never understand your sorrow if he doesn’t care. You could tell him all of your desires for him to be better and treat you right, but in the end, he will have to learn on his own. You cannot teach him how to be a man, that was his parents job. And if they did not succeed, he must learn it himself.

If he doesn’t understand how love works, he will never BE in love with you. And he will never be able to be your protector, your lover, and your best friend.

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