"Oh, So HE can. But I can’t?"
I am very happy to start Part 1 of my Double Standards Series because I have always had a passion for this type of subject. I believe that there are so many things that are presented unfairly in the world between men and women in a way that is called a Double Standard. And don’t worry, I will be speaking about Double Standards for Men as well as for Women. Both of us are at fault for creating these Double Standards and making them popular.
Let me go ahead and give you the definition of a Double Standard before we start…
Double Standard: A rule or principle that is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups.
Alright ladies and gentlemen, let’s be real…
Now that we have established what a Double Standard is, let’s begin…
I would like to first talk about a popular Double Standard that is focused on Women. This is something I deal with on a daily basis; literally, a daily problem. Since I am one of these women, and I felt that I can definitely speak about it from my own experiences, I decided to call this Double Standard “A Woman With A Backbone”.
A Woman With A Backbone
Let’s take a stab at this issue and really get to the nitty gritty about why this Double Standard is so popular that it is seen as a normal way to think. First of all, A Woman With A Backbone is seen as a threat and a “bad thing” in society. But Why? Isn’t it only human to speak your mind and demand respect while voicing your opinion? It’s our God Given right. But of course, many people don’t see it that way for women. To be blunt and assertive is seen as inappropriate and un-ladylike for a woman. Whereas, if a man has a smart mouth and a good amount of crude, he is seen as just being a man, and it’s ok. People often think women are bossy and arrogant if they are highly opinionated and can back it up too. This is really terrible because all it does is defeat women’s ability to speak their mind and demand respect as men can. If a man is blunt, honest, outspoken, and assertive, he is seen as having great people skills, long standing leadership qualities, and most of all, he is respected without fear or question. It’s crazy. It’s like a man can have authority, and it’s perfectly normal, because he is a man, and he is supposed to have authority. But a woman should not, simply because she is a woman?
So, a man can be in charge, but a woman can’t? Many people seem surprised or shocked when they see a woman is in charge of anything; especially if she is in charge of men. Now, here is my question...Are we not good enough to handle men, manage men, and lead men? And, are we not good enough to lead women either?
Let’s think about this for a second...Why on EARTH is it so horrible for women to be assertive, aggressive, and outspoken? Do you, and I am speaking to the men and women who allow this to happen; do you really think women should be unheard and unseen? Because this is what it feels like you want us to be. As soon as a woman shows herself as not being a “delicate little flower”, but a Bull Dog fighting for respect, you see her as disrespectful, rude, mean, and even defiant. I know people think “Oh my goodness, she is telling everyone what to do? Ugh! She’s super bossy.” You’re kidding me right?! If I am in charge, as a manager, director, CEO, whatever...I am SUPPOSED to be telling you what to do. (shaking my head) It’s sad that women have to fight for respect more than men do sometimes, and I can say this from experience….
You see, I have a baby face, and I am short in height. I am also 26 years young, therefore, many people view me as a “baby” already because of my age. I also have a small sweet voice at times that makes me seem like I am a quiet timid woman. But I will tell you right now, that is FAAAAAAAR from true, and I have my mother to thank and blame at the same time. I learned early on that if I don’t stand up and tell people what I want, and make it happen, I will get nowhere in life. People will always see me as a sweet little girl with no ambition, leadership skills, strength, or fight in her blood. As soon as they see me, especially if I look casual with no make-up, they think I am an easy target to push around or leave until last. But I make sure I cut that assumption real quick once I open my mouth. I am not a competitive person, but If I want something, I will work hard to get it. And if you are in my way, and I feel you are not worthy, you need to move.
We as women have worked so hard for so long to have CLOSE TO the same equal rights as men. And here we are, still struggling to be respected. Sorry guys, (speaking to men in general) but we can’t be your sweet little Princesses forever. Some of us actually have leadership skills to where we can actually have a say in things, and that’s okay. There have been many women in history who have been in charge and they made a huge impact on the world for the better. I am not saying women are perfect, believe me, I am not. But GEEZ, can we have a little glory too once in a while? Don’t deny us a chance to make a difference because you are intimidated by us. That’s not fair. If anything, you should be happy that we have evolved as women and we are no longer “Susie Home Maker’s” that only know how to do two things in life; get married, and have kids. Please, we are so much better than just that. We can do just as much as men can in anything we choose in life. But, of course, if you don’t want to be a team player and you think you are somehow better than us, you are welcome to see us as your competition. Unless you are afraid we will win and succeed more than men ever have. In that case, the battle will continue.
So, I say to the men and women who feel that women should not be assertive, blunt, demanding, and powerful…”You are going to have to get over it. We are strong women, and we are here to stay. If you have a problem with it, you can go to your little corner, put a cone on your head, and cry about it until you GROW UP and face reality! Thank you.